I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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