dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think my vagina is haunted
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
