OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
