How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
