idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
