i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
