I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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