I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
where are you?
Hypothermia
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
