the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize