Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize