if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
