I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
