Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
"it" just moved
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
