Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
