i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
