i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
