He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I need water and some morals
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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