Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize