Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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