you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
