I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
