Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
