We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
