Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
