OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
