He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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