idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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