I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she peed on how many people?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
