would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude i'm inner monologue high
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
