So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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