I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
