I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Randomize