I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
