What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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