I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
