So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
