i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
