Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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