I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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