she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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