I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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