Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
