i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
