She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
