does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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