Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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