Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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