Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
