All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize