Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
