she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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