im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
