Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
