officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
