It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
