I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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