So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
