Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
