thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
