I'm lost and stupid without you.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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