I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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