Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
