There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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